92\\ vlog, random #1

Posting this before exam is probably one of the most inappropriate thing to do, I wasn't going to update the blog until exam ends, but I was so stress and then I started to watch random clips I took throughout the year. Then I began to edit and compile them together, and here are some of the important events I've attended, weddings and birthdays.

at 0:38 records down the first meeting of Caryn and Shan. Two of my best friends hearing so much about each other for years, and finally met for JM's birthday. Thank God, they love each other, just like I knew they would because we are equally crazy. teehee.

On the side notes, some people might think that it's ridiculous for girls having so many best friends. One of my guy friend actually asked, 'how many best friends do you have?' Not to me, of course, because I don't have that many friends tbh, but another friend. But hey, why limit the good things in life? I can have as many best friends I like, friends that I really really like, and those whom I feel happy to be with. I'm not the most friendly person, because I'm socially awkward. I don't mix well with new people, and it kinda kills me to actually think of any subject to talk about because I got absolutely nothing in my mind. It happens, I was too comfortable being quiet and it turned out to be really awkward, not me, because I felt comfortable like that. Lol.

casually photobombed

But once you get to know me, I might just be the craziest person you ever know, like maybe on the Top 3?! Humble is virtue. Hahahah. And I think having different best friends on different stage of life, that's not betrayal, it's normal. Your best friend will stay your best friend, and will totally understand that, if they're your real best friend. Lots of love to y'all (you know who you are *wink*) Anyway, enjoy the video!

x,jo

58\\ homesick.

dress: Bangkok

Second month. Well, I totally lied about how awesome uni life is. It's not that awesome, and I don't really like it here. I don't know, is it just me? I really think Malaysia is a much nicer country to live in, and maybe mostly caused by the Cina-ness in me. I am not so into all this western stuff. Okay, I'll take back my words. It's too early to tell huh. I might like it here, I can, I will.

I love travelling a lot, for me it's that one chance for one to discover new places, take nice photos and meet new people. But at the same time I'm a home person, I can't stay away from home for too long. A week or two is good. 10 months, feeling unbearable already. I've always say that I wanna meet new people and I'm excited about it, but the fact is that I'm an introvert. I can't do the first move and too much of talking with strangers. It's really awkward to be alone with me, I bet my new friends have experienced the awkward moments already. But trust me, I didn't mean to make things that awkward, I just... I just can't think of any subject to talk about. I'm not sure whether you like watching running man, I don't talk bands and brands, I can't tell you too much about myself, I'm afraid I might bore you. Just if you know me well enough, you know I'm really bad at giving responses during conversations, and my friends get that a lot. Especially Shan, lol (and yes, haha and lol is the most I can reply. not that i'm not interested, i'm just really bad at socializing.) Sorry for taking so much shits reply from me.

I'm a social awkward.

SAY YES 

TO NEW 

ADVENTURE

This has probably become my new motto of life. I know I really needed a change. The way I learn things, and socialize. I probably should get out of my room more often comfort zone.

p/s:
Things changed so quickly just in a month. I was still feeling alright the first month, thinking things will only be better, and then my life just crumble down without me even noticing. I never know this would affect me so much, and now all I wanna do is just sleep my head off without feeling anything, but I can't. I've been suffering insomnia since then. Falling asleep with tears, waking up with heartache, the cycle never ends. I hate this weather, and most of all the day-light saving shit. It's so gloomy everyday, I don't remember when was the last time waking up with sunlight. It is so hard to deal with this without the closest family and friends around, all I wanna do now is just to go home. I wanna have my mom to pats my head, my elder brother to hug me, my younger brother to accompany me to sleep, my cousins to talk to me. I guess I might feel better if I'm at home. I guess it will be not as hard for me to go through this stage. I miss home even more. :(
i want to feel better and stop feeling this way. :x

x,jo

56\\ flight diary

It was so hard to say goodbye. Those familiar faces at the airport, hugging Jo for the last time during the transit at Dubai airport, those eyes filled with tears. I don't even know how long was my flight due to the transit and time zone. Just checked my ticket, it was 14 hours and 30 minutes ride, minus the transit. It was a long ride. I tried to keep myself awake by watching all sorts of movies provided to reset my body clock, that's what Peng taught me.

I think I am doing pretty well here. No jetlag, except for the worst headache on the first night. Or does waking up 2 in the morning to close the window count? So yeah, I guess there is nothing to worry about, just a little more time to adapt and get myself used to it

p/s: I miss Jo. Almost screamed her name when I found Primark yesterday. Only if she was there to scream with me.

xx, Shan

39\\ double the two

Double the awesomeness!

Exam period has finally came to an end. But things didn't seem to go well, I have a bad feeling, real bad one. Anyway, no fuck given, cos all I need is more time to rest, eat and have fun. teehee! Ohh! And guess who turns 22, *waves* me me me!!! Tho there's no big celebration nor fancy dinner this year (due to exam, FUUUUUUU), I'm still really happy. I didn't plan to celebrate my birthday at all, but still managed to celebrate 4 times, which is a lot. Haha. Thanks to le boyfriend and family. I'm such a lucky girl to have all of you in my life.

This year is gonna be a tough year for me. I'll be going to UK for my studies for at least a year. Not sure to be happy or sad, cause I gotta leave everything I have here to live in a totally new place. I'm not an adventurous person, tho I always think I am one. I'm a social awkward, I tried to be friendly, but nothing seems to come out from me whenever I meet a total stranger. It takes time to know me, and I'm not even sure if there's anyone who's willing to take this time for me. I'm anxious. To be really honest, I wouldn't want to leave this place if I can. But this is for a better future. I want to feel different, say goodbye to social awkward jo and be an adventurous person for real! I'm looking forward to more amazing stuff! fingers crossed and think positive!

AHHH!! Gotta start planning for some trips before I leave. I can't wait I can't wait!!! To good food, cheers! xD

x, jo.

27\\ jo's annual wishlist

1. 1887 Collection watch; Solvil et Titus.
2. Saffiano Leather Mini-City Bag (navy blue); Zara.
3. Cherry Lane Stacey (bluebell); Kate Spade.
4.  Large Selma Top-Zip Satchel; MICHAEL Michael Kors.
5. Gold Floral Ring; Pandora.
6. Fujifilm Instax 210 Film Camera Hello Kitty; Lazada.
7. Lita Cap Boots (white); StyleNanda.

In the midst of doing assignment. And good news to myself, we finally have internet at home(!!) Omg, it has been one difficult year for us. 2014 is starting good, God is good and more goodness to come. #cantbemorethankful

If and only if I was born rich, I'd buy all these in a flash. Especially the Kate Spade wallet and MK bag. Look back on the wishlist I made last year, I actually ticked on 3 out of 7 items. This year, at least four, pretty please? Urgently need a new wallet as the current one has a few strokes which made it awfully displeasing. Guess I'll be getting it real soon, could really use this lil bluebell for CNY. smirk. Been eyeing on this MK bag for long time. Definitely something for everything. But! It's too pricey, gotta save more for it. Meanwhile, the Zara bag would be great in a pinch. Almost perfect and lower price in compare. Was having a conversation with le boyfriend about studying abroad. It kinda bothers me awhile when we came to the fact that I'll be leaving in less than 9 months. But this is what I always wanted to do, to be more independent, and to explore the world. 

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ― H. Jackson Brown Jr

Time passes very fast, meaninglessly, for me. Then I realized, it was because I did nothing with it. How can someone else's life so eventful but not mine? That totally depends on how you work things. This year, I gotta be very determined. For live, for no regrets. Let's make the days count. (:

x,jo

26\\ sunflower

I am a sucker for long dresses, even thou I always trip over my own dress. Wore this long orange dress from Topshop and simply throw on a denim jacket so I wont catch a cold in the class. No, I dont normally dress up for class. I am so unawake in the morning that I never try hard to look nice because that would mean waking up earlier. Sometimes I even continue my sleep on the way the college in my sister's car. Purposely dressed up because I thought I was going to meet up with Jo after class unfortunately it was canceled. It is really hard for us to meet up nowadays since most of my class is in the afternoon while hers is in the morning, and I really miss chit chatting with her. 

Anyway woke up earlier that morning so I'd look good and went to a new cafe named Lucy in The Sky around Petaling Street for breakfast. Their pancakes is to die for! Didnt take any good photo that day but I promise I will go again and take some nice shots. 

Bought myself a sunflower before going back to college for  my company law class. I remember someone used to compare me to a sunflower. Warm, cheerful and bright. That was when I was still in high school. I noticed that I dont laugh (for nothing) as often as I was, even became less talkative nowadays. Not that I'm no longer cheerful or warm now, just not as much compare to last time. Guess I'm growing up and it is a phrase everyone must go through? I know 2014 will be such a tough year, new subjects and it means more efforts needed in order to get good grades. With the sense of brightness and warmth of sunflower, I've learnt that every cloud has a silver linings with every obstacle that come our way, when we generate positivity, we create happiness. 

xx, Shan

25\\ Twenty-14

Second week of 2014, and I'm down with feverish, yet attended college, geez. Celebrated the last day of 2013 with some of my closest friends at home. Frankly speaking, it actually disappoints me a lil. So different from what I expected, and the process of making it works pissed me off so much that I wanted to call it off. But when I think about it again, it's the heart that counts. At least I get to spend time with the person I love being with, also exchanged gifts. Big hearts! Thanks for those who came and brought food. Especially unfinishable satay and chicken wings. Lol. No countdown and missed fireworks, but I absolutely love time when we sit around and talk nonsense.

Did a mini recap for 2013, thus making new year resolutions now. To be honest, I made new year resolutions almost every year, but it definitely didn't work on me, I really can't be bothered, and yes, I'm just not a discipline person. But this time round, it has gotta be different, must commit and keep up to these promises. Here's a TO-DO...

2014 resolutions!

1. Earn more save more!! 
Been telling Shan about this for 8125152659 times, and vice versa. But when the question HOW pops out, there will be no reply anymore. Lol. It's easy to think about it, it's also not that hard to save money, but how do we earn? At this stage where both of us are busy with our studies, it's really hard. So....

2. Blog more often!! 
Yes, that's one of the way I guess. Blog more, gain more readers, gain popularity then money come! Am I doing it right? But of course, we're not doing this only for money. Without passion, you can't do anything right. So true!

3. Get good grades
Clearly, I don't have passion on this. Lol. But getting good grades somehow link to better job better future, so why not? And that also means be less lazier. *takesdeepbreath* MUST DO THIS SHIT RIGHT!

4. Think positive, Be happy! 
I don't know about others, but I think I was a really cheerful girl last time. Not to say I'm very emo now, but less cheerful. I think it's just time that change me. Looking back at the old times, I take things very positively, and super motivated in doing all things. Back then I was very lazy too, but the level of laziness now and then is different. I don't get the mojo in doing anything. Moving my ass now is dang hard! Lol. At the first place, maybe I should get back the mojo and keep it living with me! So please count me out of negativity and maybe feel free to welcome me back for positivity. And perhaps you should too remind me to smile always.

5. Pick up new hobby(ies)
AHHHH! Forever just saying! But I really really want to learn to sew, not just sewing buttons, but clothes too! And take up some language courses, perhaps? Japanese, Korean, French, Spanish? Which one first? And where to learn? Someone please guide me.

6. Be productive
Not only blogging. Maybe try doing vlogs, tutorials, DIY and read more! Read 10 books last year, a great achievement compared to the previous years where I barely touch books. I decided to love book stores now.

7. Be more feminine
Also, must dress up more often. If you know me, if you've been to my room, you should have seen the explosion of my wardrobe space. Lol. But the thing is I often dressed simply. Simply as in just shorts and T-shirts. And often heading out wihtout make up. It's natural, but so unfeminine. Lol. Especially after my haircut, I'm a guy now. wtf. From now on, I must eat slow, talk soft, walk like a lady diva. Okay, maybe not the talk soft part, so geli. Can't even imagine myself talking softly.

8. Lose weight!!
Like they always say in Chinese,减肥是女人的终身事业!! So damn true! To be honest, I'm currently 60kg and and above, okay superwtf. The lightest I were was 50kg back in high school time, then blame puberty, I kept eating and no exercise, thus keep gaining weight. Then I finally lost about 5kg in 2012, before I met Drew, I was around 55-58. Then also because of him, I gained back all the fats, lack of alertness. HMPH! My aim now is to be 58 before CNY, and then 50 before I fly to UK!! Must lose weight! Must lose weight!! Must lose weight!!! Determination come to me!!!!


So far, 8 things to be achieved! 2014 please be very good to me.
Have you done with your new year resolutions yet? Share it with us, and let's get motivated together! Here we go again!

x, jo

24\\ 2013 finale

super unglam photos

Time passes so fast, last year's CNY seems just like yesterday. Really, I'm not even trying to have selective memories, but what was I doing during last year's new year eve? I can't recall. I only remember moving house, gosh! I think I left my brain back at the old house. wtf.

Anyway, summing up my 2013, it wasn't as great as I thought it should be. I thought being 21 is special, just like how I used to think about being an 18. But, 21 is a big deal, yet no big deal in real life. I guess I'm just aging. wtf(x2).

Let's see, I've finally graduated from A-Levels, which took me long enough as I was and still is super lazy. Survived from that, not with good grades, but still, yeahhhhh... Then done with my first year Law Degree in 8 months, which is very unexpected, as I thought I would at least fail one. But thank God, though no hard work compared to others, but yes.. I'm very thankful *patsownshoulder* And thinking of that, if I were to put more effort, I could have, COULD HAVE score A?! Lol. *thickskinlikedontknowwhat* I'm in my second year now, everything is harder. Land law is an ass, Company law is like doing Economics again, Tort law is boring and Evidence is fun but difficult. Life as a law student is really fucked up, a brain is never enough for all laws and cases. Hence, kinda explained why I don't have good memories now. And the above are somehow some kind of achievements, rite?

Travels: Been travelling to quite some places this year, a few road trips with friends and family and also a trip to Bangkok! I love trips like this, gotta do this more often, before I leave for UK. Korea, Japan, Maldives, wait for me!!!

And the biggest challenge of the year, is definitely the haircut challenge! From long to mid length then long again and then short!! I really like the half-shaved head, especially the one on Dara from 2NE1. Omfg, so pretty!

But I admit that I have no balls to try it out. Or should I say that the impulse of going half bald has faded. Doing things like this really need that sudden impact and a lot of courage.

But this length is good enough, still cute as usual. Lolol

Lastly, I would love to extend my gratitude to all friends, family and le boyfriend. Thank you to all of you for your loving. I wish we have more time together. If I could, I would just pack all of you into my luggage. Lol.

And looking at this new blog, we blogged 23 posts last year, great achievement Shan!! HIGH FIVE(when you see this)! Hahahah. 2013 ain't that bad after all.

Done with flashbacks, and new year resolutions post will be up soon! Stay tuned.

ps:

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

20\\ bangkok video diary

greetings earthlings! spent the past weekend in the city of angel (or sin, in my case) with two of my best friends +1 hawty for early new year shopping OR de-stress ( yet another good excuse, teehee.) flights plus hotel bookings made via pyotravel, costs us around rm720 each. i don't know if it's the best deal, but overall reasonable. friends told me they could have get better price, but i really think it was okay, really. but i don't mind getting cheaper price, so if you have any good deals, let me know. haha. #cheapskate. well, it was a fine 4D3N trip. touched down the airport around 4pm local time and it was considered late as we actually settled everything down only by 7. thus no crazy shopping moment was done that night, except naraya (to be frank, i don't know why is everyone so crazy with it, the design reminds me of retro pyjamas robe?!)

anyhoo, pratunam could be the most convenient area for shopping, street food and even massage. everything is so good, i can't even rate top one! i think cheap is the one word to describe things in bangkok (everything cheap cheap!), what's better than cheap stuff? nothing. #cheapskatex2 and need i mention that platinum mall is just hundreds metre away?!!! the one stop that can make you go broke! *jumpinginjoyinfactishouldbecryingcauseimbrokewtf. thus, i decided, to make a trip here every freaking year, ad that's good. haha.
more in details soon, and here's a video diary for you. stay tuned.
watch in HD, sorry for the shaky video.

ps: feeling hopeless at this point. that man's ego irritates me to the highest level right now. he always have the mind that we need to depend on him so much that he can be such unreasonable. #horriblebosses!

x, jo.

19\\ black dress, red lips

dress: brands outlet
bag: h&m
lipstick: maybelline

christmas is only one week away and i'm not done with shopping, forever yet. thinking of getting myself a christmas gift, but what? maybe an album of my fav singer, but i have too much. maybe a dress, but i have more than enough. maybe a heels, but i barely wear 'em. #firstworldproblem teehee!


i love red lips. it makes me feel like a lady, elegant yet cheerful. but it doesn't look good in polaroid, or is it just me? i don't know, but i personally love these photos. i have tons of it in my folder, it took me so long to choose only a few of them to post it here, and so i decided to make it into a gif, and you get to see more vain me.

have a nice day. (:
x, jo

17\\ creamy velvet

Exam has finally came to an end (a month ago). This whole exam thing has gotten onto my nerves although I seemed to be very calm about it. The ice cold examination hall, numbers of cases and pages of essays to be written down in only three hours. I dont know which one caused my numbed fingers. The freezer-like examination hall or too much writings.  I even got blister on my ring finger at the end of the exam. Not to mention my sore neck. Talking about hard work being paid off, it better be.

I wanted to dress a little different for the last paper as a symbol of celebration since we are all too tired to party after the exam. Matching my oversize sweater with wine red skater skirt makes me feel kinda cute(?) Sadly my wardrobe is full of one piece dresses, not much chance for me to mix and match my outfits, this is one of the rare opportunity.

On a side note, assignments suck, BIG TIME! Can't wait to get rid of them soon but too lazy to finish them way before deadline.

p/s - When I look at the photos, I feel like I am a red velvet cupcake I am having right now. Hence the title

xx, shan

16\\ Nickname

Fact about me: I love giving people nicknames, a decent one. 

Like how I'd call Jo Loo Loo or rather how I love my friends calling my sister Jie Lui and my mum Mummy Kong. Not only because it is cute, I personally think that by calling each other's nicknames drawn the relationship closer. No? If you are not close enough with someone, how would you dare to give her a name no one else would use except for  you or your gang of friends?

Same goes to me. As much as I like my name Shanny, I like how Hang and the gang call me Shan and when Doreen calls me Lei Shannie *mandarin accent* I think it reflects my personality. Different names tell different me in different people eyes, how I'd act and how I'd speak.

I dont like people calling me name like how they would call anybody else. You can call me my name, or just hey me. Dont call me babe or baby, I dont like that. I am special that way.

Anyway in short, nicknames are unavoidable if you are my close friend. I really think that it is cute and important, at least for me. Please bear in mind that if you are my friends, giving you nickname is one of the way to show that I am comfortable being with you. Vice versa, if you are going to give me one, please dont call me something that you'd call anybody else, that is not cool for me.

Do you have a nickname?

xx, shan

15\\ bugs and letters

 cap: bro's wardrobe

top: debenhams

dress: cotton on

bag: H&M

it was a date night with le boyfie, so i decided to put on something more feminine as i was all the time in pants. but me being me, will never go all the way ladylike, so a baseball cap is of (y). wearing cap plus taking photos indoor is quite challenging, no matter how hard i tried editing the lights, just can't get white fair skin for  my face. meh!

been having major ups and downs lately. then i thought that i really need a change. a change that is so significant, everyone else will be in shocked. lol.

personally don't think there's anyone who can learn to handle death, and i don't wanna learn that either. they always say, it's hard to say goodbye. it's real, it's really sad when you know you gotta say goodbye to that one person for good. maybe we will meet again in other form, but how sure are you? i regretted. i regretted that i did not insist to take a picture with you the last time we met, just both us. i regretted i did not kiss you on your forehead when you were conscious and tell you how much i love you. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for not telling you how thankful i am for all the years you have taken care of us when we were young. i'm sorry for not giving you much care for all the years when you were sick. i'm sorry and i love you, yeye. you were the greatest and strongest person. i hope you have been reunited with daddy in heaven.
ps. i hope you were happy when i fed you porridge, i miss it. (':

to grandpa with love, jo.

14\\ recent thoughts

Three paper down, one more to go, have been really busy with the current exam lately which, not really bothering me much. I've tried and doing my best anyway. Being attached with my notes and exam papers made me lost count of have many Kit Kats I've taken, they are the best study snack. How I wish exercising my brain and squeezing my brain juice could help me to burn some calories, then I wouldn't mind spending more hours sitting in front of the study manual and start munching some KitKats with staring at the books until I fall asleep.

There are so much changes in just few months time, different college, different environment and different people I am meeting which changed my way of thinking. I think I will need more time to adapt. Not that I don't like knowing new friends and all, but old is gold, I don't like mixing with too many people as long as I have a few friends who knows me truthfully, that is good enough for me. Positively thinking, being in apart from them makes me realize how loved I am where the bunch made Tuesday and Sunday available to have meals with me a.k.a Shan Shan day,  awesome much! 

I used to think that my friends who are going to England for their last year of degree are real lucky, like how I used to tease Jo by calling her rich people. Now when I am one of them, part of me can't wait to go. a tiny part of me wants to stay. I don't know what's in my mind either. Girls you know, sometimes even we can't read our own mind. I think I am over thinking, being sentimental is so not me, might be the hormones. Mehhhh. Should stop thinking too much and work on my next paper, then I will be a freeeeee bird.

xx, shan

7\\ monkey beach x aug video diary

 

photos from the previous trip. on the first gif, that was me being me, playing with the rope swing like a monkey on the monkey beach. haha. too bad no video taken, but photos. lack of courage made the stopping quite indecent(should have just jump as it wouldn't hurt much, aite?)! the escape to the monkey beach was almost perfect, not bringing extra clothing to the beach was one biggest regret! or else we could really spend more time on the beach and touch on some water activities!

too many days spent wandering and filling myself up with plans, and finally succeeded on my carbonara experiment! ahhhhh! such a talented girl. *flipshair* also planning to bake bread pudding *fingerscrossed*.

if you were to ask, i'm actually quite used to life without wifi connections now (yes, no have network installation yet), and actually feeling a lil grateful, though the bad phone network service still pisses me off at times. the point that I'm feeling grateful is because of the fact that I could use more of my time doing something better instead of sticking to the laptop 24/7. i could finally pick my lazy ass up to really start baking, when all the other times I would choose to scroll on facebook. i could finally pick up some books to read 'em, when all other times I would just watch an overrated movie. that's a life i never thought i would live, before abandoning internets. well, c'est la vie. life is full of uncertainties. (:

i could really use more times like this and opppss! words overflowing! haha. as promised, here's the video diary. enjoy! hope you like it.

x,jo