16\\ Nickname

Fact about me: I love giving people nicknames, a decent one. 

Like how I'd call Jo Loo Loo or rather how I love my friends calling my sister Jie Lui and my mum Mummy Kong. Not only because it is cute, I personally think that by calling each other's nicknames drawn the relationship closer. No? If you are not close enough with someone, how would you dare to give her a name no one else would use except for  you or your gang of friends?

Same goes to me. As much as I like my name Shanny, I like how Hang and the gang call me Shan and when Doreen calls me Lei Shannie *mandarin accent* I think it reflects my personality. Different names tell different me in different people eyes, how I'd act and how I'd speak.

I dont like people calling me name like how they would call anybody else. You can call me my name, or just hey me. Dont call me babe or baby, I dont like that. I am special that way.

Anyway in short, nicknames are unavoidable if you are my close friend. I really think that it is cute and important, at least for me. Please bear in mind that if you are my friends, giving you nickname is one of the way to show that I am comfortable being with you. Vice versa, if you are going to give me one, please dont call me something that you'd call anybody else, that is not cool for me.

Do you have a nickname?

xx, shan

15\\ bugs and letters

 cap: bro's wardrobe

top: debenhams

dress: cotton on

bag: H&M

it was a date night with le boyfie, so i decided to put on something more feminine as i was all the time in pants. but me being me, will never go all the way ladylike, so a baseball cap is of (y). wearing cap plus taking photos indoor is quite challenging, no matter how hard i tried editing the lights, just can't get white fair skin for  my face. meh!

been having major ups and downs lately. then i thought that i really need a change. a change that is so significant, everyone else will be in shocked. lol.

personally don't think there's anyone who can learn to handle death, and i don't wanna learn that either. they always say, it's hard to say goodbye. it's real, it's really sad when you know you gotta say goodbye to that one person for good. maybe we will meet again in other form, but how sure are you? i regretted. i regretted that i did not insist to take a picture with you the last time we met, just both us. i regretted i did not kiss you on your forehead when you were conscious and tell you how much i love you. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for not telling you how thankful i am for all the years you have taken care of us when we were young. i'm sorry for not giving you much care for all the years when you were sick. i'm sorry and i love you, yeye. you were the greatest and strongest person. i hope you have been reunited with daddy in heaven.
ps. i hope you were happy when i fed you porridge, i miss it. (':

to grandpa with love, jo.

14\\ recent thoughts

Three paper down, one more to go, have been really busy with the current exam lately which, not really bothering me much. I've tried and doing my best anyway. Being attached with my notes and exam papers made me lost count of have many Kit Kats I've taken, they are the best study snack. How I wish exercising my brain and squeezing my brain juice could help me to burn some calories, then I wouldn't mind spending more hours sitting in front of the study manual and start munching some KitKats with staring at the books until I fall asleep.

There are so much changes in just few months time, different college, different environment and different people I am meeting which changed my way of thinking. I think I will need more time to adapt. Not that I don't like knowing new friends and all, but old is gold, I don't like mixing with too many people as long as I have a few friends who knows me truthfully, that is good enough for me. Positively thinking, being in apart from them makes me realize how loved I am where the bunch made Tuesday and Sunday available to have meals with me a.k.a Shan Shan day,  awesome much! 

I used to think that my friends who are going to England for their last year of degree are real lucky, like how I used to tease Jo by calling her rich people. Now when I am one of them, part of me can't wait to go. a tiny part of me wants to stay. I don't know what's in my mind either. Girls you know, sometimes even we can't read our own mind. I think I am over thinking, being sentimental is so not me, might be the hormones. Mehhhh. Should stop thinking too much and work on my next paper, then I will be a freeeeee bird.

xx, shan